Wednesday, September 16, 2009

my sextet of magnetized confusion

I find myself caught between various poles, suspended between seemingly opposing alternatives. I can much more easily describe what I am stuck between (with no answers in sight) then can I describe who I am, what I want, where I am going, what I should do. 

These poles are:
Desire to stay in the familiar, desire to leave all that is familiar
Desire for companionship, desire for solitude. 
Desire for food, desire for fasting. 
Desire for love, desire for anger. 
Desire for independence, desire for community.
Desire for simplicity in X, desire for complexity in X.
      - X: technology, food, relationships, hobbies. 

All of these are very deep seated conflicts in my heart. Each of the 6 above represent a Universe of thought and confusion in my head spawned by many experiences. Perhaps some of the same tensions exist in your own heart. I think it is better to be confused about these things together, and if you have it all figured out then please help me out. My quest is to explore...
1. the nature/merits/dangers of the twelve poles above, and 
2. how to journey towards balance in all six cases. 

Do you want to join me in exploring any of the 12 poles or 6 ellusive middle grounds discussed above? I don't mean philosophical discussion. I mean living and breathing side by side in the pursuit of sanity and purity, wisdom and virtue, strength and honor, understanding and discernment. In other words, does anyone want to, together, passionately and actively explore our own fears and confusions, perhaps sometimes through discussion, but mostly through urging each other on to new experience? I think both dreams and reality get much bigger when we put our heads and hearts together. Drop me an email at, or respond to this post.